I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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