How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Randomize
