no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
