What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
