I think I died a long time ago.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
