He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
