My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
