when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
