these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
