If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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