saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
