I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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