well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
