Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
