So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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