There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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