dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
