We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
