Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
