do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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