My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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