Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
