All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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