There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
