I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Randomize
