Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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