I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
