go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize