jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
