i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
