He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
