So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
