I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
