I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
