I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Randomize
