Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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