real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
