nut hugger
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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