she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
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