She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
