Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
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