the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
