C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
