i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
