it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
