That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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