you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Come on in and take your pants off
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