Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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