I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
