I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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