So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
