mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
