i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
