i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
