i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I wish i was in the wii world.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
