I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
whose ass print is on the piano?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
