is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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