there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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